The hair hung in his face covering his eyes but there was no doubt. He wept. Not the soft, willowy crying of a man accustomed to control, but the the penetrating wailing of a man who has just encountered the robbery of death. Deep, heavy, chest heaving, dangerous tears, moans, and mucus erupting from his face.

There was no shame. His grief was private and public. He could have been the only one standing there and his sorrow would have looked no different than it did now as he was surrounded by bewildered, wanting people.

This was a brother. Not simply a friend with whom you meet for a beer and a laugh, but someone who had shared in pain, fear, joy, conflict, and pleasure. It was the kind of pain that I imagine a tree feels as it's limbs are shorn off. The tearing of the saw into the wood, the weight of the limb as it begins to creak and fall, and the deafening crash of it hitting the ground and splintering into pieces.

The emotions acted like waves, the next one crashing as soon as the one before had subsided.

But there was no bitterness in the sorrow. No anger. It was grief unencumbered by these other emotions. Just a pure steady drip of sorrow pouring into his veins and making it's way through his body. He wondered whether he had stopped just feeling the emotion and instead had become his sorrow, it wrapped itself so completely around and through him.

He felt all this even though, within moments, through his own actions, he would be reunited with him.