05 December 2013

two

grab an oar
he said to me
as my pack laid at my feet
taking in the scent and coolness
of fresh water i'd never explored before

this was new
but oh so familiar
as I've read in books about whales
and men and shipwrecks and the ocean floor

my eyes are full of salt water
my mouth is full of salt water
my ears are muffled from the words you are trying to say to me

04 December 2013

Howl With Me

this is our territory
howl with me
howl with me
this is our territory


with no room in the inn, I’ll drive you into the night
find somewhere else to hide, you’ll only give us away
you’re prohibited from being here, read the damn signs
we won’t ever help you, we have no time, no money
I’m sorry boy, there’s always plenty of pine to ride
flee! flee to the tree line, sing with the midnight choir


this is our territory
hunt with me
hunt with me
this is our territory


there’s a ship in that bottle, leading only nowhere
suns will soon rise without a terrific trembling turn
until then the sting will bare witness, bloody markers
press towards immunity, freedom worthy of strife
lay down on that throttle, full speed ahead, make no sound
forget to break and you’ll find your siblings dead ahead


this is our territory
feast with me
feast with me
this is our territory


our breakneck outfit, jagged teeth will find their duty
feast or famine, in plenty or want, we’ll tear foward
wander the days, adventure lying around the bend
sleep the nights, our bed is where our blistering heads lie
home together, your print’s our print, celebrating howls
drink the milkyway cocktail, howl along, join the song


this is our territory
roam with me
roam with me
this is our territory

03 December 2013

Bruise again

You touched my arm and it stayed
I wear it now, hidden springs
of black water flowing underneath
my icy river's crust of skin.

If I just wait here long enough
It will come to me.
The reason why I let this happen.

I step out and it creaks and sings
Under my weight. Black feet
body, ice. fear.

I would open my mouth to speak,
But you have taken my tongue.
My lips move and spasm,
But my breath is also in your pocket.

That which is my own stretched
Naked on that bridge between now
And then.  Wet and dry.  Dry and dead.
It is as foolish to clutch at ice
As it is to swim below.




Tuesday

the longings arrived again with a new snow
that pressed the edges of my sight line
and cozied in with a winter's wind,
white and cold and northwesterly.

they pressed in on the corners of my perceptions,
like a sullied and drowsy clown
like a cornered cage fighter
like a monopoly tycoon,
the absence of light closing quickly.

the longings arrived afresh in the morning
that culled confusion from my thought lines
as we waited patiently for sunlight
white and warm and southern.

they shout out now in my ears,
like a catholic bell at Christ Mass
like a feverishly hungry child
like a fish fallen out of the stream,

"Where are you?"


01 December 2013

Part 2


Jack’s brain felt as though it were floating in a warm blue liquid. Everything was calm. His eyes were closed, and in the darkness he heard no sound, felt nothing of his body, knew nothing of his surroundings.

Jack’s forehead had directly struck the concrete. Hard. He laid their motionless on the train platform. Some witnesses fled, fearing the supernatural, while others came closer, either intrigued by the impossible or hoping to help the mysterious bleeding man.

As his eyes opened he saw blurry shapes crowding his field of vision from all directions. He heard dull, distant voices.

Jack’s eyes began to focus on the faces staring down at him. He heard unfamiliar voices. “Is he okay?” “Who is he?” “What did he just do?” The questions came from every direction.

A large man in a red sweatshirt knelt over him. “Sir?” He looked straight down into Jack’s eyes. “Sir? Can you hear me? Do you know where you are? Sir?”

Jack couldn’t respond. He couldn’t quite connect the dots just yet. He could, however, feel a dull, throbbing pressure coming from the right side of his forehead.

“Jack?” Finally he recognized one voice. “Jack, are you okay? Jack!” Emma was there. She was afraid.

It was difficult, but Jack concentrated and pieced together two words. “I am.”

“Ma’am, you’re with him?” asked the man in the red sweatshirt.

“He’s my husband.”

“My name is Evan. I’m a doctor.” The man in the red sweatshirt was direct and calm. “The way your husband hit his head, I would bet he’s got a concussion. He should be fine to get up in a few minutes, but for now--”

“Emma.” Jack wanted to tell her he felt fine, that he wasn’t even in pain, so he couldn’t have a concussion. His forehead just felt a little sore. He wanted to ask why he was on his back, and why all of these people seemed so concerned for him. He couldn’t quite piece together the words to ask these questions. He remembered that they had been at the stadium. That they had come out of the gates. That they had stood in line for a while. That he had tried to see--

Then it all flooded in at once. He remembered trying to see over this man, the doctor in the red sweatshirt. He remembered jumping. He remembered shrieks and horror and confusion. He remembered a crowd backing away from him. Now that same crowd closed in on him.

“Jack, my name is Evan. You just hit your head on the sidewalk. I need you to relax, ok?” Jack was not paying attention. His mind was replaying the impossible scene from only moments before. “Do you know where you are? Do you know what happened?”

He did.

Frantically, Jack reached for Emma’s shoulder but missed. She grabbed his arm to steady him as he flopped onto his side. “We have to go. We have to go.” It was a struggle to put words together, one after another, but now his adrenaline surged and gave him focus. “We have to get out of here.” The confusion. The closeness of the strangers, pressing in. Jack had to escape.

With his palms on the concrete and Emma steadying him by the arm, Jack struggled to stand. “Sir” the doctor sounded concerned and reached for his other arm. “Jack, you need to lie down, you’ve got a concussion, Jack, I need you to stay here, ok? “

Jack got one foot under himself and tried to stand. He fell into Emma who was crouched next to him. “We have to go!” He hoisted himself upwards using Emma’s shoulder. She stood with him, unsure of herself, but not knowing what else to do.

Jack gained his balance and looked up. He was looking into a crowd of faces, a sea of eyes that had seen the whole thing. Some backed away like before. A few stepped forward to help steady him.

“Don’t touch me!” Jack could see to the back of the platform, where the streetlights of the train station ended. It was dark there, down below at ground level, and the street seemed mostly empty. His heart was racing. He had to get out of the light, off of the platform, out of the center of this mass of strangers. He lurched forward.

Jack pushed and pulled at the shoulders of those who boxed him in. Frightened, they made a path, one by one stepping back to make way. Some still held up cell phones, recording Jack’s primal struggle to escape. Emma rushed to keep him from toppling over.

Fans continued to pour out of the stadium and onto the back of the train platform. These people, these newcomers to the scene, had no idea what Jack had just done as he painstakingly fought his way between them, against the flow, bleeding from his forehead and tripping over himself. He breathed heavily, his chest heaving as his momentum carried him unsteadily forward, passing by each curious face with determination.

His progress was abruptly halted when he ran directly into a heavy-set man with a backwards cap and a large soda. ”Whoa! You okay there?” The man could see that Jack was unsteady. He grabbed his arm to help.

As soon as Jack felt the man’s hand grasp his arm, all of Jack’s fear and panic mixed with urgency and confusion, and within an instant, Jack exploded.

He punched the man in the face, just below the left eye. It was a sloppy punch, the punch of a dizzy fighter still reeling from a hard blow to the head, but the surprise of the blow sent the man stumbling backward, spilling his drink on the shoes of others in the crowd. The man put his free hand over his face, sputtering a muffled “what the f---!“.

Emma, too, covered her mouth. She was stunned. She stared at her husband with fear in her eyes.

Jack’s head was pounding now as he saw single drops of blood fall down in front of one eye. He stood, dizzy and in pain, as more onlookers stepped back, tripping over each other, but never taking their eyes off of him.

The way they looked at him…

He started to run. He was desperate and anxious. He made his way as directly as he could toward the stairs that led down to the ground level behind the platform.

He turned back at the top of the stairs and saw Emma directly behind him. She was weeping and trying to keep up. He reached back and took her hand frantically as they descended the stairs that led down six feet to a shadowed sidewalk.

Jack couldn’t stop. They ran down the block, Jack stumbling now and again, Emma keeping him from falling completely. He had to escape, to get out of sight. He heard one or two shouts from behind, but kept running.

They had made their way three and a half blocks when Jack, unable to take the dizziness and the pain, finally ducked into a darkened alleyway. He fell forward onto his knees next to a huge wet dumpster. Emma knelt beside him, sobbing and out of breath.

Jack pulled Emma close, held her tear-streaked face in his hands, and desperately pleaded, “What just happened?”

“I don’t know.” Her voice was quiet and weak.

Jack swayed. He fell sideways against the dumpster, dropped to the ground, and vomited.





29 November 2013

My Tree

MY TREE.

-->
My tree is old.

Old and dead.

My tree has been cut down.

Carved up.

Mashed about… Pulverized!

Smeared.

Stained.

My tree is bound with cords.
Fettered

Crammed tight, used, abused…

And loved.

Poured over. 
Brings light,

Brings laughter,

Brings life.

Hope in the darkness? 
A friend to these lonely days.
Wise old days to those without days.
Young days to the old and bent.

My tree has the hearts of generations inscribed on its trunk.

My tree lifts me up and holds me, brings me down and makes me question myself, and opens the world before me like a book…

28 November 2013

bradley

will we ever go
to that island on
lake michigan

off the coast
and far away

and this is not a chance
and not a change of pace
or a time to die
in that quiet place

damn it
you're far too young
to waste away

you've still got four kids
and three wedding days

and now we'll never go
to that island in the sand
that we passed months ago
when you were a better man

and if i'm alone, then you're alone
and if i'm afraid, then you're afraid